ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
only if we run a train.
done.
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
