Ambien. No doubt about it.
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
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