he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
Randomize
