I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize
