don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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