you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
Randomize
