speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
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