As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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