So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
and you said cock pushups were impossible
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
Randomize
