just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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