i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Randomize
