did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
Randomize
