loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
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