walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
Randomize