We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Randomize