so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
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