I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
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