I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
