Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(989): View more from Michigan

there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them

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(305): View more from Florida

my head looks like a cockatoo

(1-305): View more from Florida

mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom

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(519): View more from Ontario

I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"

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(216): View more from Ohio

As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.

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(864): View more from South Carolina

I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.

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(615): View more from Tennessee

But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...

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(859): View more from Kentucky

Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.

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(660): View more from Missouri

He described his sex dream about me using only emojis

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(607): View more from New York

he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.

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