He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
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