Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize
