In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
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