She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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