Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
Randomize
