apparently the secret to your success is patron
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
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