i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
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