I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
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