and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
