Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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