wake up i wanna do it froggy style
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
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