Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
Randomize
