ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
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