I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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