I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
Randomize
