talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
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