I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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