i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize
