Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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