I think I am morally bankrupt
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
Randomize
