She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
Randomize
