How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Randomize
