i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
