Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
