I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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