I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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