What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
Randomize
