Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize