I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
Randomize
