The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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