You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
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