quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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