Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
Randomize
