we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
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