Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
Randomize
