He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
