didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
if i get the "i'm engaged" text one more time, i'm going to shoot myself in the face so my cats won't eat it when i die alone.
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Randomize
