I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
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