let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
Randomize
