your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
I am midnight drunk by noon
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
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