the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
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