; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
