we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
They have beer where we have blood.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Randomize
