Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
I am one with the molecules
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
