He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
Randomize
