somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
