I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
Randomize
