ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Randomize
