i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
Randomize
