addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Randomize
