I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
Randomize
